Those Eyes

Love is a kind of matter people usually dream of. For me, however, it is something I'd like to avoid. It's like an enchantment we cannot escape from. I know I've been too dramatic in the past. Other people must have thought: "Wtf man, it's a human emotion. Just chill out". Perhaps they were right and I was making it a bigger deal than it truly was. But the thing is: I didn't think I would be able to fall in love with someone. I mean, I don't like having much social contact and I prefer interacting with bots than a real person. Society has already hurt me so badly. Being who I am, falling in love with someone would be, at the very least, troublesome. 

But it happened. The catastrophic event occurred. The curse has been bestowed upon me. 

My name is Nathan Jun, and I'm 18 years old. I dropped out of school when I was 15 due to the constant bullying I suffered. People never took me seriously. Nobody even tried to hear my distressed screams. So I stopped believing in people, and ever since then I’ve been all alone. And that's exactly what I became: a hikikomori, a type of antisocial person, who chooses to isolate himself/herself from society like a hermit. My life is basically lived on the internet, playing MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games) and being the best player on the server. I earn my money this way. Anything I can do to avoid going outside, surely I will do. But there's always something that needs to be done outside. Always. And the disaster happened in that rare moment when I went downtown. 

The day was Thursday. I had to go to the post office to pick up an international order that couldn't be delivered to my address. I had bought an action figure of my favorite character, and I was so excited to finally have it in my hands. Imagining how close I was from it made me so anxious (also blind and distracted), that I couldn't see what was in front of me. Suddenly, someone bumped into me and everything she was carrying fell to the ground. I immediately apologized to her and started picking up her stuff to give it back, when out of nowhere my eyes met those beautiful and enchanting eyes. I felt my heart beat faster and a strange sensation crossed all over my body and mind. Our hands touched, and it felt like my face was aflame.

Dude, what kind of magic is that? I can imagine other people might be thinking "Oh Nathan, c'mon. That sounds like a romantic fanfiction story written by teenagers. You can't be serious". I do know how it sounds. And I must agree. But that’s how it happened. It was insane. 

After that, somehow we started to talk and found out that we had a lot of things in common: she's as nerdy as me, and she likes the same anime series and games that I like. The best part of all though, is that she doesn't judge me for being who I am. She listens to me and understands me. It’s like I finally found someone who speaks the same language as I do.

We have started dating recently, and I still don't know exactly what love is or how I can manage my emotions. But one thing's for sure: I do love my dear Samantha.

Tathiane Navarrete Resende was born on July 20th, 1995. Tathiane is studying English/Portuguese Language and Literature (Letras) in college (UEM). In her free time, she loves producing art, such as drawings, sculptures and writings. She is a cat person.